Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
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