We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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