Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
