allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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