i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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