yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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