i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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