But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
