I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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