but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
if only i could text you this smell
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
