I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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