How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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