I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Randomize
