Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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