hell yes lets make some ravioli
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
