I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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