Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
