would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
