dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
