meet me or not, i'm out of control
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
