What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
