I love black thongs
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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