If that was your dad, he is hot
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
