new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
