I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
