I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
and eventually we just all took our pants off
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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