nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
