i need an iv and a liver transplant
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I need water and some morals
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
