I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
