hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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