She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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