The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
