I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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