You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
