I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
