I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Randomize
