But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
