Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
