i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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