How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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