I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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