Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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