look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
