I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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