you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
