we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
