I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
