JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
