So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
