worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
