He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Randomize
